Children's Birthday Parties - The Flemish Version

One of the many cultural differences that I have to learn here is about children’s birthday parties or at least, sending your child to one or organizing one yourself! I remember from my childhood or even as a young adult growing up back in the far east – both the child and parent will be invited to the party. It goes without saying that you stay too (as a parent) to join in the fun and appreciate all the good food. You also know the other children’s parents, so its pleasant for you to catch up with friends.

On the contrary, it is a whole different ballgame here! My first encounter - I was caught in an embarrassing situation! Because I stupidly did not read up about the customs here, thus I made the host felt awkward. She also felt embarrassed to ask me to leave, so she kept quiet and let me stay on till the party was over. My little one and I arrived pretty early, there was only one kid there. As others started showing up, I noticed, all of them, left their numbers with the host then said their goodbyes and left! I mean these adults / parents trust the host enough to just leave their kid in a strangers house. No one gave me the impression that they know each other well. The whole concept seems so strange to me, do I have to learn how to adapt to this sort of practice too? But I did apologize to the host saying that this is the first birthday party that we got an invite for and thus a first for me too here in Belgium. She was kind enough to explain to me about the practice and how it’s such a norm to leave your child off at the party and take off yourself. Apparently a lot of them see it as a few hours off from the kids! That’s how laid back parents here are about trusting their child or children with others.

That one episode helped me a lot especially when we had to organize a birthday party for the little one and her friends. The task itself made me feel like an event manager, handling the setting, place, crowd, security – making sure we have all contact numbers and all. It was stressful but happy, loud and almost deafening shrills you hear gives you a sense of satisfaction that the party was a huge success. Thinking up of original ideas is also the challenging part. The parents always try to ‘one up’ each other but I like to think so far we have not done so badly for ourselves as well. We had so far only 2 – one at a fastfood restaurant with a private fun & games session for N and her friends. The 2^nd one, we organize a clay workshop – that was a huge success! FYI, the 3 years of kindergarten (yes, they go to 3 years of kindergarten here!) is very much artistically inclined.

Anyways, the 2^nd time, I had to leave N off, I broke down and cried! I think it was an overwhelming realization of your little one growing up and that as a parent (especially one from a different cultural background) I have to suck it up and learn how to let go and be more trustful!