Breaking that thick block of ice!

The further north you go, the colder the climate, and the people then? I know that’s just stereotyping but I can’t help to associate the climate to its people. Perhaps it was even proved scientifically ?? The more sun you absorbed, the friendlier and warmer you are as a person !?

In my previous place of employment, it took me a year before anyone warmed up to me – it is a thick piece of ice to break. Not only at work but within the neighbourhood, at the bakery, or sandwich place, pharmacy, grocery shop – it took me such a long time even before I get a proper personal smile or recognition that it has been sometime since I frequent their joint! Perhaps some are just scared, as I am after all of a different skin colour from them or perhaps they just assume I don’t speak good enough Dutch to understand or hold a simple conversation with them.

But whatever the reason is, I am very thankful to the few (that I can call good and personal friends today) that warmed up to me and stuck to me like glue accepting me just the way I am and most importantly to include me in their lives or conversations in a group when sometimes I get completely lost in translation as it goes from normal Dutch to the local dialect! I saw an episode of Sex and the City once,  the last season, where Carrie moves to Paris to follow her boyfriend but every time they went out with a group of friends – she immediately felt awkward and out casted as she doesn’t speak French and it is tough for the locals to speak in a language that they are not used to. I can completely, 100% relate to that particular moment, I welled up inside, there was a lump in my throat, I felt her pain, her sadness, her frustrations, I wish I could go into my TV and punch all those people!

Anyways, just last week, I have a new colleague at work. I know her name from the group email I got. When we eventually met – I would usually introduce myself because that’s the correct and courteous thing to do. But instead, without any feelings of obligation, I did not even acknowledge her, I felt like I did not have to. And because she is like every other Belgian that I have met, she of course, did nothing to make herself known to me.  So after a day or so, after when even my colleagues don’t introduce her to me or to anyone else - surprised at this cold transformation I experienced – I said today, I shall go up to her and introduce myself during breaktime and spread all that asian sun! I did just that, she warmed up abit and even smiled. But it stopped there. The next day and the day after it was still silence, no eye contact, no nothing – i don’t blame her, as I think she is just scared (like anyone would) of things that are not familiar to her. So I kept exchanging smiles, good mornings, good byes and finally on Friday, when she came to her locker, which was below mine – she managed a “bye bye, good weekend, see you next week”, no smile but it will come soon I hope ; )

I have been blessed though as NOT all Flemish I have met are cold. The warmer ones, sorry to be stereotyping again – are well travelled  and intelligent individuals. They were sympathetic to my views, my frustrations about having to break such a thick piece of ice and they are the ones too that revert to English every time the group starts up in dialect or ‘too fast’ Dutch. For these individuals, I hold them close to my heart as they have made living and working here so pleasant.